Money Talker Gifts

ATM at gas station.

'Everyone is so health conscious...But what good is health? It can't buy you money!'

'How much did you have in mind?'

'So what's so great about being an economist? You can talk about money without having to make any.'

'They call me 'ka-ching'...I'm the go-to cash player.'

'It would make me feel insignificant if I didn't make so much money.'

'Enough about your losing portfolio. Let me tell you about my vacation home in the Hamptons...'

The president's men

The Shrinking Dollar.

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

'We do spend a lot and tax a lot, but it's the price you pay for living in a money-based economy.'

Me and my money are soon parted

"I told you never to call me here."

'You say you want to speak to me about a raise?'

"I know we have to cut costs, but is bringing only one of each a good idea?"

'Don't worry. he always does that right before he raises taxes.'

News. To broaden the tax base, they started making robots pay income tax. Of course! They can't vote. IRS. My first tax return and I get audited! They said everything was wrong! Despite the fact humans totally rely on us, we can't list them as dependents! They said my "net income" is not what I earned working online. And I shouldn't have used the "short" form even though I' have some bad electrical wiring! You'll do better next time ... just remember to disconnect your logic board befo

'You won't lose any more money. We're the first fund with a GPS tracking system.'

Tax haven.

One day, John found out that not only he could understand animals but his money, too.

"Do you mind if we do this without the violins?"

'Are you sure it's necessary to sign this part declaring 'all information is true and correct to the best of my knowledge'?.'

The Caring Society: Analysts.

'Hey! Roll a mile in my shoes!'

"This article says that a good investment consultant can smell money like a dog smells fear..."

"Eventually I'd like to have a business where the money rolls in and I wouldn't have to be there much."

'You can be President when you grow up. I'm going to make a lot of money playing shortstop for the Yankees.'

Dollar sign balloon.

"I'm not judging you... God is."

'Dollar'

'I only invented money last month, and I already have four payments due!'

"And remember, son, perception isn't reality - money is."

"Leave me alone. I'm deciding who to leave out of my will."

'Because it's there.' (asking for a loan at huge vault)