Money-saving Maven T-Shirts

'I conducted my own defence and saved myself a fortune.'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

Great Chinese Dynasties

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

"I'm teaching him to rollover my 401 (k)."

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

First Church of the Almighty Dollar.

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"I don't have time for piggy banks. Can't I just buy an ATM?"

Wow thanks, a cheque for $500M made out to 'small business'.

"It's been unanimously decided that we don't like this table. Could you show us another model?"

Businessman has Sterling Sign Shaved in Head.

'I'm afraid the stock price gods are not happy Ralph.'

Investments.

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

A wiser and a better man

"I've found that when money starts talking, you can't shut 'er up!"