Money Morality Maven Gifts

"I'll invest, but you must promise none of my money will go towards that Robert Mugabe."

Great Chinese Dynasties

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

"I keep on getting these feelings of love, peace and empathy..."

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

"I'm teaching him to rollover my 401 (k)."

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

Bookstore. The Stock Market for Dummies. It's either an instructional guide or a history of recent economics.

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

First Church of the Almighty Dollar.

Wow thanks, a cheque for $500M made out to 'small business'.

"I don't have time for piggy banks. Can't I just buy an ATM?"

Businessman has Sterling Sign Shaved in Head.

'I'm afraid the stock price gods are not happy Ralph.'

Investments.

'Yeah, year, I get the moral of the story, but what are the legal ramifications?'

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

"I've found that when money starts talking, you can't shut 'er up!"

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

A wiser and a better man

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

The Euro.

'We're able to cut back on legal fees by being more ethical.'

'The good news is, you have money up the wazoo. The bad news is, you're constipated.'

'And, lastly, I'd like to thank Chuck for his years of service. He'll be leaving the company next month to spend more time with his cash and cash equivalents.'