Money-fetching Maven Gifts

'Good dog!'

Great Chinese Dynasties

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

"I'm teaching him to rollover my 401 (k)."

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

Bookstore. The Stock Market for Dummies. It's either an instructional guide or a history of recent economics.

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

First Church of the Almighty Dollar.

Wow thanks, a cheque for $500M made out to 'small business'.

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"I don't have time for piggy banks. Can't I just buy an ATM?"

Backstabber Express: Trump

"A virus ate my homework."

Businessman has Sterling Sign Shaved in Head.

'I'm afraid the stock price gods are not happy Ralph.'

Investments.

The Euro.

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

A wiser and a better man

'The pound looks strong to day. Yes, against the Zambesi bean.'

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

"I've found that when money starts talking, you can't shut 'er up!"

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

'The good news is, you have money up the wazoo. The bad news is, you're constipated.'