Monday Humor Pillows

"I get it- the old caffeinated-cop, decaffeinated-cop routine."

Typical Monday

Monday: Next 7 exits.

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

9:00 - '' - '10:00' - '' - 'It's a 'spot the indifference' competition.' - '' -

Zoo. It's wednesday again --- time to wash the camels. I hate "hump" day. (Published originally on July 20, 2005).

You realize, Harris, if you LIVED here, you'd be home by now.

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

"Damn! Just as my inertia was starting to build up momentum."

'Household water use'

'They traded their 'Casual Fridays' for 'Immature Mondays' . '

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

'I hear we're beginning to cut back to half weeks.'

'On the contrary-I quite enjoy that Monday morning feeling!'

"Brad, if you can't say 'I love you' without using finger quotes, I'm outta here."

I rest my case, your honor, in celebration of "Casual Defense Friday." ! !

'He isn't use to getting up this early.'

"Another Monday and Albert couldn't get his ass out of bed."

Beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'' - 'Slam!' - 'Great... another long week of pain and humiliation ahead...' - ''Click'' - 'God, Ilove my job.' - '' -

"Dang it."

"Switch me on please..."

Workaholic

"I like your paperweight, Watkins..."

Monday Checklist.

'What time is it? The small hand is on the 6 and the cat's paw is on my chin.'

'Oh yeah? Try to sleep in when your dad is a rooster!'

Which Cup? 'Me' or 'Real Me'?

My new trash pickup day is midweek, on Wednesday. Hump-day dump-day!

'Was the interview too early for you?'

'Hey Dad - you're shaving with my transistor radio!'

'Mondays are really Hell here!'

I survived another Monday morning meeting. Oh, come on. It's not that bad.

'Why, first thing on Monday mornings, do I always get someone who can't enunciate very well?'

"Oh, how I ...give me a push... hate Mondays."

BUS, 'I don't hate Mondays -- I FEAR Mondays!'