Monastic Life Explorer Gifts

'The hair shirt is sufficient. You don't have to shave with a hedgehog.'

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'What is wrong with brother Sebastian?'

Trappist Monk Discord

"Did you get my tweet?"

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

R.C.I.A.

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"Mi chiamano Mimi, il perche non so. Sola, mi fo il pranzo da me stessa."

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

Trappist talk show.

Employees must cleanse souls before returning to work.

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

'I wish Brother Gregory would spend less time surfing the 'net.''

'Am I on your good Facebook friend list, or on your bad Facebook friend list?'

'Am I glad to be back - austerity's gone mad out there!'

"...as the devices were nestled on their chargers with care,..."

Danger Quicksand

People crossing the street while texting use white canes.

"I love talking to you about my problems. We should do a podcast."

A friar

'Oversensitive Car Alarm'

Thou Art Here.

Two friars ringing bells

It's a mobile, wireless internet device

'Brother John had discovered a loophole in the vow of silence'

'If a tree falls in a trappist monastery, does it make a sound.'

"For simplicity, we call this one Ding and that one Dong."

'Please tell me there's more to this than this.'

Everyone knew it was a hideous style, but nothing was ever said.

"The latest version of your life is now available to download."

"I've decided to pursue a profession where religion doesn't play such an important role."

"I hear we went platinum."