Monarchical Humor Fan Pillows

"My majesty!....Hm....I like the sound of that!"

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

Trump Poutine

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

"It's time to get politics out of money."

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'More government surveillance!'

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

The Thinker?

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!

'Yes, I'm sure Latestagrossa is the patient's name, and not the disease!'

How men process questions.

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

'Miss Chambers, requisition me some more clout.'

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

"That's right. An increase in your title!"

Greenspanisms for sale (50c)

'It's all due to the birthrate falling drastically...'

Biden Ignores the G7 Leaders on Afghanistan

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

"Italy just bought France."

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

A whale with corporate sponsorship