Mommy Maverick T-Shirts

"We're still figuring out how to monetise him."

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

Grandma's caf

'The doctor said oily fish was good for his brain development.'

Guitar Man.

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

'The good news is that you don't have mad cow's disease. The bad news is you are lactose intolerant.'

Popera!

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

Dominant hand reveal party

"Right kids, there's no camp and no vacation, but Mommy and I are super excited to make this summer our best ever!"

"I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology."

Santa Metal Claus

Hacksaw Violin.

'No you idiot! You're supposed to smash your guitar AFTER the show! What are you going to play now?'

'Shall I be Motherhood?'

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

'You act surprised.'

Hip-Hopalong Billy Bob blamed the censors for killing the country-rap scene.

"Mmm... now WHERE did i leave my radio..?"

"Hold your horses! I'm working as fast as I can!

"Mom's left her phone here. We'll have to walk to the kitchen to tell her to get us dinner."

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

'No,if you'll read the eyes-in-the-back-off-your-head chart, I check your mom vision,'

'Well excuse me Mr. watch me pound on a hollow log!! I just thought our sound could use a change!!'

'Make it quick, Mom! I've got to get back and finish my mud pies.'

A man working on a model airplane

You know that symphony I wrote in GarageBand? It drops next week. You're invited. Symphonies don't "drop," little buddy. Rock albums "drop." R&B "drops." Symphonies "debut." And they usually debut in concert halls, with live musicians. Where's your symphony debuting? Anybody-can-upload-anything-for-people-to-download.com. I wonder if I can get my tux pressed in time.

Mother and Baby

"It's bring-your-kid-to-work, day."

'I know.. Let's write a song all about the evils of material wealth. After all, that last one netted us a bloody fortune!'

First Attempts: Wright Brothers. Hair-plane.

"No, Billy, I don't play the horn anymore. I just like to take it out every once and again so's to give an old friend a great big tallywhack on the head!"

'You've got a lot of nerve, lady, calling my son's answers 'wrong'...His answers may be different, but they're just as special and beautiful as anyone else's.'

'She ate it. I guess love does conquer all.'