Mom Talk Champion Pillows

"She's such a different person than she was before her nap."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

The First Day Back

Fathers are Heroes

Muy mum rocks.

'Mother will catch you!'

'I'm all the athletic support my son will ever need!'

'Oooh, I love what you've done with your hair...That top looks lovely on you and have you lost weight?'

'He's got his shoes on the wrong feet again.'

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."

'Do you have a reservation?'

Father's Day

'I came untucked.'

"I'll tell you what ... you mingle, I'm going to monopolize a conversation."

'Wait a minute! I want it stirred, not shaken!'

'What I like most about my mom is that she always supersizes her hugs.'

'I forgot to bring diapers. We were a long way from refreshing.'

"You could say that. I had a D-section."

Mom on the First Day of School.

"You want to know about my day? Mom, didn't we just do this last month?"

"Before this goes any farther, you should know that I have kids, and I'm old, and I live in a shoe."

How Moms Explain

'Personally I think the washer needs replacing.'

"Yea, mom, knows everything...she's momnipotent."

"No woman should have children over 40, that's quite enough for anybody."

'Honestly, they grow so quickly these days.'