Mom's Friends Pillows

"For today's punishment, you'll be listening to my mom talk about her foot pain."

Wildlife

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

'T.M.I.F.'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

The Henderson's move to a vertical city took some getting used to.

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

SALE

'Are we nearly there yet?'

Fish hunting for men.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

The Tightrope Balancing Act of Home Ownership and Interest Rates.

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'