Mom Duty Champion Gifts

Mom on the First Day of School.

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

"That is one absorbent nappy."

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

'Why did the chicken cross the road?'

"No, our company doesn't provide day care or maternity leave."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

The First Day Back

Fathers are Heroes

'It's easy for you to climb the corporate ladder, you just lay your eggs and leave: No need for Maternity Leave!'

'Mother will catch you!'

"The Momfia"

'Well at least your washing up arm is O.K!'

'He's got his shoes on the wrong feet again.'

"Among them, my children have eighteen years of accumulated experience harassing their mother!"

"Wanna swap?"

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

"When I said change the baby, I meant his diapers!"

'Did you know that baby birds just hang it over the edge of their nest and let it fly!'

Soccer Moms

'I'm all the athletic support my son will ever need!'

'I'm just your average suburban gladiator mum.'

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."

'I came untucked.'

Father's Day

'What I like most about my mom is that she always supersizes her hugs.'

Baby Mums.

Smiling at people who make stupid noises, wearing diapers, crying at least 8 times a night, getting cuddled by wrinkled grandparents... Man, being a baby is the World's hardest job!

'Another common mistake is to forget to take off the dirty nappy before putting the clean one on.'

"Before this goes any farther, you should know that I have kids, and I'm old, and I live in a shoe."

Why it's called child-rearing.