Molder Of Minds Gifts

Give your teacher an apple, and appreciation, gratitude, respect.

"Postwar is hell."

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

Man can levitate but can't hold fingers properly.

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

'Why am I such a grouch?'

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

A consumer guide to cheese.

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

"My parent's think I'm apathetic, but I don't care."

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"I knew you'd understand."

Analyst and patient

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

We've been together so long, we can finish each other's texts.

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

"Out today due to foreseen circumstances."

"As a last resort Tom's trying a mind-meld!"

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

When psychiatry works too well!

'I'm trying to work on Mr. Findlay's self-esteem, Miss Oglethorpe — stop giggling in there!'