Young Mind Molder Gifts

'If the key to effective classroom management is consistency, I guess I'm an effective classroom manager, I am consistently exhausted at the end of the day.'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

Analyst and patient

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'Mom, am I store-bought or homemade?'

"As a last resort Tom's trying a mind-meld!"

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'

'The position calls for a mature person with young ideas.'

The Cello Victims

'I'm trying to work on Mr. Findlay's self-esteem, Miss Oglethorpe — stop giggling in there!'

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

"Let it out. Let it all out."

When psychiatry works too well!

"Well, right now I'm feeling a little uncomfortable."

'It all started in my previous life, doctor.'

'My problems seem small to you because you're so darn BIG'

'You think you have a hard life? -- I have to listen to crazy people every day!'