Modernity Satirist Gifts

if only i could figure out how this thing works

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

"Excuse me, Doc, my attention wandered. What type of deficit disorder did you say I had?"

Pop Top Ice FIshing

This man is an island.

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

Snowman Driver

"You didn't seriously think that one does one's own huffing and puffing these days, did you?"

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

"Amazing, eh? Good-looking, dependable, trustworthy, inflatable."

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

"Right! It's a heart op, neurosurgery and counselling. And I'll have the Wiz"

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"You can huff and puff all you want. The house is foreclosed and belongs to the bank."

"I hear Presbyterian is the new Methodist."

"Lemonade App: $1"

"O.K., but let's say you have up to six hundred intruders per minute."

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."

"Bloody Cyclops!"

Stay at home

King Commute.

"You're wonderful, Kimberly, and I want to be married, but I'm looking for a complete unknown."

"In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen episodes."

'What's the antidote for espresso?'

"Jeremy sits in his hi-tech car all day and telecommutes from our driveway."

"Speed daters! Say hi within the hour!"

'Don't you have anything more recent? I've already read what you just confessed on your blog.'

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

Everyone knew it was a hideous style, but nothing was ever said.