Modern Work Society Commentator Pillows

"No one showed up. Everyone is working."

Spot the difference.

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

My brilliant career

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

"I think you'll like this idea-it's sort of 'dull' meets 'inoffensive.' "

"The problem with capitalism is the unequal sharing of wealth. The problem with socialism is the equal sharing of wealth..."

"I suppose it was bound to come to this."

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

Who blames who in health Insurance problems

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

Blues for now.

Working one day a year doesn't pay the bills

"Today on the ask Sadie show, we'll be addressing one single topic: 'Wolverine.' Specifically, we'll be talking about how most of you freaks who were obsessed with it for months are no longer talking about it. You people today have the attention span of a chimpanzee!!! That's an average of about 20 seconds, for those of you who still remember what I just said."

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

"The doctor wants you to point to where it hurts."

Intelligent Sexual Design

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

Our Troubled Chowders

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

"We will create 12,000 new jobs...but we only need 4,000 new employees because on these salaries they'll need three jobs each to make a living!"

Have you drugged your child today?

'You cant do anything these days without someone suspecting your motives. . . there is only one way out. . . inaction.'

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

'Will sublet 5pm-9am & weekends.'

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

"It just doesn't crackle like the one on Netflix."

'We're looking for a wifi hotspot.'

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

No Leaders