Modern Work Society Commentator Pillows

"No one showed up. Everyone is working."

Spot the difference.

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

My brilliant career

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

"I think you'll like this idea-it's sort of 'dull' meets 'inoffensive.' "

"The problem with capitalism is the unequal sharing of wealth. The problem with socialism is the equal sharing of wealth..."

"I suppose it was bound to come to this."

Who blames who in health Insurance problems

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

"We will create 12,000 new jobs...but we only need 4,000 new employees because on these salaries they'll need three jobs each to make a living!"

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

'You cant do anything these days without someone suspecting your motives. . . there is only one way out. . . inaction.'

"The doctor wants you to point to where it hurts."

"Today on the ask Sadie show, we'll be addressing one single topic: 'Wolverine.' Specifically, we'll be talking about how most of you freaks who were obsessed with it for months are no longer talking about it. You people today have the attention span of a chimpanzee!!! That's an average of about 20 seconds, for those of you who still remember what I just said."

Our Troubled Chowders

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

Working one day a year doesn't pay the bills

Have you drugged your child today?

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

'Will sublet 5pm-9am & weekends.'

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

"It just doesn't crackle like the one on Netflix."

The Ekert Saga: 'Uh...How is niceness a scourge?...Now there's a million unemployed lawyers, right?'

'We're looking for a wifi hotspot.'

"In the old days people with small dicks needed big cars. Today they write hate comments against Greta Thunberg."