Fan Of Modern Work Life Commentary Pillows

You're getting that office with windows you've always wanted - you'll be working from your car in the parking lot with a laptop.

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

My brilliant career

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Work Slave

"Progress is going around in the same circle...but faster."

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

Mr Yomp quickly got the hang of his new laptop.

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

Career Analyst "Well I've looked at your file and yes, your job is rubbish"

"I think you'll like this idea-it's sort of 'dull' meets 'inoffensive.' "

Daily Routine

Early Man Late Man

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

"The doctor wants you to point to where it hurts."

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

Our Troubled Chowders

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

'Will sublet 5pm-9am & weekends.'

"It just doesn't crackle like the one on Netflix."

"I'm pretty sure there's a Starbucks on the other side of that big rock."

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

'We're looking for a wifi hotspot.'

Man calling Phone Privacy Centre

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"