Modern Wellness Gifts

"Which celebrities do this type of yoga?"

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

2021

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

What the Doctor Ordered

'Well, well, well...'

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

Lactose Intolerant

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"Your contents have shifted."

PSA Banter.

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'