Modern Twist Appreciator Gifts

"According to this, prince Charming is divorcing Cinderella. He says he was forced into the marriage by his father,and that he's always secretly loved one of her ugly sisters."

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

The circus diver.

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

Snapshots in Time

Trojan horse with a satellite dish.

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

Future Candidates For "Colorization"

Gluten-free Santa

'Alas irrefutable confirmation.'

"There's trouble, boys. Let's pants up and move out!"

'Would it kill you to go for a computer upgrade?'

then, one day, when Robin's men were making merry, the deer struck.

Ivan Bunin

"Do you know what time they open love?"

People admire a freshly painted wall

'Yeah, yeah, the ammo is included. ... OK, so remember - anyone asks? You've never seen me before in your life.'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel ... let down your hair extensions.'

You know I can't do the twist.

'Bacon? It's more like squashed sausages!'

'Well - we are catfish.'

'Hey, we're in style!'

'Look as an artist, you're awful but if we tell no one, we'll make a fortune.'

Magritte character has apples hanging from hat like corks, Australian-style.

Do Not Sneer.

Dueling marionettes.