Modern Traditions Thinker Pillows

"Santa Claus is no longer part of my belief system."

'It's not easy being ahead of your time.'

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"Herb's from Texas."

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

What every man thinks to himself when he puts on a pink shirt.

'I ink, therefore I am....'

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

"If you prayed to Google instead of God, you might get a constructive response."

"This looks good, Jim, but we'd better run it by legal, Siri, and Alexa."

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

The Last Non E-Book In The World.

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

'An ebook! What are you reading?' 'Against technology: From the Luddites to neo-Luddism.'

Bloke orders a pizza as Jesus divides the loafs and fishes

"Everything I needed to know I learned from my mother - but I usually follow up with a YouTube video for verification purposes."

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

Hip hop Santa.

"Already my computer is outmoded, but i try to tell myself that my computer isn't ME."

Your basket: Gold. . .You may also like: Frankincense and Myrrh.

"No textbooks. I'm strictly Web-fed."

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

Gluten-free Santa

A Family Out For A Walk In The Country.

'I still write all my novels longhand.'

"What next?"

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

'...in sickness and in health, with full coverage or without...'