Modern Technology Observer Pillows

Call Your Mother- $2.00

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

"Would you relax? They never look up."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Fear of news.

'This is suppose to be progress.'

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

"He was much more effective in the field."

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

Maternity Hospital

Mice 25¢

"If you want to know why I fired you, you can subscribe to my blog."

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

"Your sister got another promotion."

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

I have a video phone and I'm not afraid to use it.

Old Yarns

"Daddy says God created Eve out of Adam´s spare credit card!"

"Someone just pinched my mobile phone"

'Dang it! The gals out here leave little to a feller's imagination.'

Man Wrapped In Film

"Better safe than sorry, son."

"Auto reply: I am dead and will have limited access to e-mail."

Blogging Shoes

Today, it's chic to be cheap.

"May I air-quote you?"

'Hi, it's me, my therapist said I should communicate more...'

'Did you click and send the contents of 'Irving' into the world wide web of humiliation?'

Ten Commandments T-Shirt

"They don't play Mummies and Daddies these days-now its Wife Swappies!"