Modern Tech Observer Pillows

"Even this wouldn't have been enough to keep the youth from their smartphones."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"Would you relax? They never look up."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Fear of news.

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"He was much more effective in the field."

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

Fries with that Burgers: 'I lost my job to robot in Japan.'

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

"Your sister got another promotion."

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

"Someone just pinched my mobile phone"

Man Wrapped In Film

'Dang it! The gals out here leave little to a feller's imagination.'

"Daddy says God created Eve out of Adam´s spare credit card!"

Old Yarns

I have a video phone and I'm not afraid to use it.

"Auto reply: I am dead and will have limited access to e-mail."

Blogging Shoes

'Hi, it's me, my therapist said I should communicate more...'

Today, it's chic to be cheap.

"May I air-quote you?"

"They don't play Mummies and Daddies these days-now its Wife Swappies!"

'Did you click and send the contents of 'Irving' into the world wide web of humiliation?'

Ten Commandments T-Shirt

'Before you come in for the interview, you might want to check our website.'

"It's unbelievable to get kicked out of paradise because of one lousy apple... But wait, I'll give you a really bad rating for that, buddy!"

After hours TV.

"It's free, but they sell your information."