Modern Socializer Gifts

What's up? Where u at? Nada. Just hanging at the caf

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'At first I wasn't going to join, but with a name like that, how could I resist?'

Quiz Night...

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

"I finally lost a few ounces with my activity tracker. I took it off."

"Would you like to be notified by text when I'm bored and want to go home?"

Beer Garden Kit

The Devil's advocaat.

Getting old...

"You ruin every virtual party we go to!"

University Challenged

'She's spring cleaning and you?'

"Oh, no thank you. I’m rumaki-free."

Will Make You Sick So You Can Go Home.

"I'm Generation Z. Nice to meet you."

'I wish my wife would stop playing mind games with me. I'm tired of losing.'

'Well at least we know there's no chance of either of us being over the drink-drive limit!'

"Every bar has its obnoxious drunk."

Cliques Amongst Mathematicians.

It's called 'Pretentious.' It tastes like crap, but it's $100 per bottle!

"David! It's only trendy to drink beer straight from the bottle!"

'Well I'd love to stay and chat, but this is one of those 'get things done' days.'

"I moved here just six months ago and already I'm part of the local color."

'They all work from home now, but still get together for carpool reunions.'

"I've learned not to listen to critics who are right about me."

Running on Empty

'Mrs Gridlington doesn't like being referred to as 'duck' or 'dearie'...so I just call her 'the old trout'!'

"Can you turn your video on, Ralph?"

"The other thing I love about drinking is that you can't do it online."

'I'm going to have a few drinks with the guys...don't wait up for me.'

"Maybe we should change the name of the parish to something cool, like the Protestants do and add a coffee bar."

I'm waiting to see the doctor. I got hit by a hockey ball. There are tons of kids with sports injuries ahead of me. Actually, it's not a drag at all. It's a great place to meet guys.