Modern Sleeper Gifts

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'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"

Interpretive napping

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

Programmer Dreams

Sleeping masks

For goodness sake, can't you see I'm on a night shift!

"Not me, brother - you wake him!"

"Before I prescribe a sleeping pill, I'd like you to try the opera."

"Just two paragraphs from our internet provider's terms and conditions agreement and she was out like a light."

"This alarm clock is guaranteed to wake you. It's sounds like a husband snoring."

'Post-Hibernation Blues'

"Sorry - is my snoring driving you nuts?"

"Tonight the covers stay on my side."

“I get that the sounds help you sleep, but I don’t like the way he stares.”

The Home Birth of Venus

'Why have you put that pen and notebook there?'

'Get up or I'll send in gramma.'

'You're snoring in cadence.'

"For a great day's sleep you can't beat out new line of memory foam coffins."

'I got rid of those funny little spots in front of my eyes. Now what's bugging me is a buzzing noise in my ears, like somebody sawing logs.'

"Could you stop making that breathing sound?"

"No more getting up and having to go to the kitchen for a midnight snack."

'He gets his best ideas that way.'

Cat Dreams

Sleep-Eez Bedding

"Wake up, blanket hog! You're having that burrito dream again!"

"This next one's for anyone out there who might still be awake."

The Princess and the Pea