Modern Scot Pillows

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'Thank-you God.'

"Ours is not a creative clan."

'What clan do you belong to?'

'...this is Loch Lomand!'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

Scottish party

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'Och lye the news'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"He never passes by without a mischievous smile."

'You must be awfully secure in your masculinity.'

Wikipedia...

"Do you have an appointment?"

Bagpipes in the bath.

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

God's Phone

"All the celebrities come here."

Witches of Instagram

'Jock's a real gentleman as far as we sheep are concerned... He knows how to play the bagpipes, yet doesn't!'

Caber

From the No.1 best seller, 'Women Are From Venus, Men Are From Scotland.'

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

Scot holding a heart.

'The bloke with the violin is on holiday.'

Latest Aye Phone

Waiting for the snow to arrive in Aviemore.

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."

Yogi back in 5.

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

'I think 'The Cloud' knows more thank you think.'

"Says he's one of the MacMartian Clan."

'Another Scotch?'