Modern Robin Hood Pillows

"We steal gold from the rich and sell it to a metals broker. They make a prfit on their buy and sell spread and share a portion of that with us. Then, after the skimming and the rebates, we give to the poor."

'Good news, men, when we give to the poor now, it will qualify for federal matching funds.'

Panhandler

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

"You're stealing from the rich and selling it to the poor on Craigslist?"

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

The modern generation!

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

Smartphone Sonogram

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

Laptops

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

Maternity tattoos

"No. I've never had any problems with my kids not paying attention to me."

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

'Robin, I've told you - 'rob from the rich and give to the poor' is not a sustainable business plan!'

Today's Mothers Day!

'Shall I be Motherhood?'

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."

'I do set limits. For example, he wasn't allowed to use the tablet computer until after he downloaded a potty training app.'

"There's no umbilical cord. But don't worry... it just means your baby is connected to you via wifi."

'We now feel it's best that baby keeps her security blanket until she's old enough for a cell phone.'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

'I don't want to rob the rich anymore, Marian, I want to BE the rich.'

"I was hoping her first sentence would be, 'I love you, mommy.' Not, 'what's the Wi-Fi password?'"

At the modern antenatal class.

"They sent their geeks! Drop your swords and grab your computers! It's a cyber attack!"

'This pacifier looks like a cell phone to make the inevitable transition that much easier.'

Maid Marion to Robin Hood: 'With you it's all take, take, take... give, give, give...'

"What I did during my summer vacation with my mom's 1,000 free minutes..."