Modern Relic Hunter Pillows

"Today in school we studied the great works of antiquity - the pyramids, the coliseum, the abandoned shopping mall on Route 6."

"The Ice Age must've caught him by surprise..."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"There's more inside."

An old man wearing a band t-shirt

"My goodness, no! Grandfather would never, ever let us near this!!"

'Not MORE flippin' crockery!'

The Wonder Of It All

"You must stop digging up the past."

Antique oriental carpets.

'Yeah, I tried 'Open Sesame' ... then I just went at it with a backhoe.'

'That's the evening paper, sir.'

"That was easy. My Easter Bunny app has an egg-seeking GPS."

Drones Unlimited

"One fine day my son, this will all be yours!"

"You're right, professor, this wouldn't be just any birthday!"

'You and your stones collection.'

'Here's where your father geocached your inheritance.'

Archaeologists look at stratigraphy with irons in it - 'And right above the Stone Age strata you can clearly see artefacts from the 'Iron Age'!'

Authentic signed Holy Grail

"I remember when Christmas shopping made my feet hurt!"

Religious Fanatic - Good prices paid for books..statues..videos...

"One day at a time, Ethel, I take it one day at a time. So far this year, it has been the usual assortment of useless junk. Last week, he located a dump scow, and he spent all this week dragging a 1929 Ford engine block out of the river. . ."

Junk shop with the 'largest collection of NASA space shuttle debris in Texas!'

"And this relic was left here by Saint Winifred the Forgetful."

"Walter, will you please step away from that sign?"

"No, the video isn't in slo-mo. That's the speed your granddad and I actually walk."

'Yes, I did know all of that, actually.'

Toltec, ha! You wouldn't know Toltec if it bit you!'