Modern Relic Hunter T-Shirts

"Today in school we studied the great works of antiquity - the pyramids, the coliseum, the abandoned shopping mall on Route 6."

"The Ice Age must've caught him by surprise..."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"There's more inside."

An old man wearing a band t-shirt

"My goodness, no! Grandfather would never, ever let us near this!!"

'Not MORE flippin' crockery!'

Antique oriental carpets.

"You must stop digging up the past."

The Wonder Of It All

"You're looking for the Holy Grail? Have you tried Ebay?"

'Yeah, I tried 'Open Sesame' ... then I just went at it with a backhoe.'

'You and your stones collection.'

"That was easy. My Easter Bunny app has an egg-seeking GPS."

Drones Unlimited

'Here's where your father geocached your inheritance.'

"One fine day my son, this will all be yours!"

"You're right, professor, this wouldn't be just any birthday!"

'That's the evening paper, sir.'

"These things are useless. They beep constantly, but we never find a thing."

Archaeologists look at stratigraphy with irons in it - 'And right above the Stone Age strata you can clearly see artefacts from the 'Iron Age'!'

Authentic signed Holy Grail

"Get your one-of-a-kind burial cloth of Jesus!"

"I remember when Christmas shopping made my feet hurt!"

"Actually, I'm all out of gold, but I could give you some stock."

Religious Fanatic - Good prices paid for books..statues..videos...

Junk shop with the 'largest collection of NASA space shuttle debris in Texas!'

"And this relic was left here by Saint Winifred the Forgetful."

"Walter, will you please step away from that sign?"

"One day at a time, Ethel, I take it one day at a time. So far this year, it has been the usual assortment of useless junk. Last week, he located a dump scow, and he spent all this week dragging a 1929 Ford engine block out of the river. . ."

Toltec, ha! You wouldn't know Toltec if it bit you!'

'Yes, I did know all of that, actually.'

Fallout Shelter