Cold War Relic Hunter T-Shirts

"The Ice Age must've caught him by surprise..."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

Large print rock'n'roll section

An old man wearing a band t-shirt

"...it's another metal detector."

"My goodness, no! Grandfather would never, ever let us near this!!"

'It's grossed over a billion dollars. Let's go see the Titanic wreck.'

Top Soviet Dissident Freed

"Cheer up Skip - worse things happen at sea..."

'Not MORE flippin' crockery!'

"It's soon to be listed in the National Register of Historic Military Holes in the Ground."

"Boun giorno, Gorby!" "Buon giorno, Bush!"

"You must stop digging up the past."

"Today in school we studied the great works of antiquity - the pyramids, the coliseum, the abandoned shopping mall on Route 6."

The Wonder Of It All

"Carbon paper? Typewriter ribbon? An ashtray? After your retirement, have you considered opening a museum?"

Stalin's toothpaste: USSR

"You're right, professor, this wouldn't be just any birthday!"

'You and your stones collection.'

Authentic signed Holy Grail

Archaeologists look at stratigraphy with irons in it - 'And right above the Stone Age strata you can clearly see artefacts from the 'Iron Age'!'

Religious Fanatic - Good prices paid for books..statues..videos...

"And this relic was left here by Saint Winifred the Forgetful."

"Walter, will you please step away from that sign?"

'You're a very lucky man Mr. Gibson. That looks like a 1913 Liberty Head nickel.'

Nicolae Ceausescu

'Yes, I did know all of that, actually.'

Toltec, ha! You wouldn't know Toltec if it bit you!'

"No, the video isn't in slo-mo. That's the speed your granddad and I actually walk."

Washing Day on Board a Zeppelin

Fish holding map of famous wrecks