Modern Realty Enthusiast T-Shirts

'If you don't want a lot of column upkeep, this probably isn't a good real estate market for you.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

The stages of gentrification: a guide

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Look, son, real estate."

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

Real Estate Personals

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

Home Sweet Second Home.

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

Who Let the Dawg In?