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'If you don't want a lot of column upkeep, this probably isn't a good real estate market for you.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Look, son, real estate."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

Emigrating to France.

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

Real Estate Personals

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."