Modern Professional Pillows

'That's my resume.'

'A pen? Will a laptop and laserprinter do?'

"You can call me dude or keep the ponytail... pick one."

"If you take one more selfie this job interview is over."

Trial by Media

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Others will fight for you

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Gay Times...

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

If nobody had invented graphics

"I feel your pain."

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Presidential Pooch Meets The Press

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"Springtime in New York. Ah, to be young, in love, and probably making two hundred and seventy-five thousand a year."

Local News in Heaven

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

"The old tricks, young fellow, have served me well."

"Ms. Ray, you're getting a promotion! You're no longer my Gal Friday. You're now my Gal Saturday."

Reporter #6: television.

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'