Modern Pet Caretaker Pillows

'Since we no longer have a newspaper to fetch, I taught him how to check the newsfeeds for me.'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"Foster failure"

Dog Walking Services

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Bathing the dog

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"She's a miniature."

'They sure have small litters.'

"Cheers mate, you've done me a solid."

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

Wild animal - 1,500 years later...

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

Dog Food

'You're hired as far as I'm concerned Edwin! And look at these guys?...They seem to really like you!...You're a natural!'

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

'I've stopped him using the exercise bike...'

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

After bring your cat to work day, I ended up with 5 extra cats.

"He wants a second opinion."

'Where did the little bird go?'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

'Marmaduke, have you been drooling on my cookbooks again?'

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

The difference between cats and dogs.

"Yes, it is a beautiful day but what makes you think you can go outside and play?"

"Tom, did you forget to feed the pets tonight?"