Modern Parenting Pioneer Gifts

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

"He just said his first word!"

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"How is it gendered?"

"Damn it, are we flying a spoonful of peas again?"

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

'The stuka brought you.'

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

"They're a very hi-tech family. Apparently, even their baby was cordless."

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

'Sending someone to his room was a punishment when I was a kid.'

Phone Mittens

"Santa said to stop making toys. From here on out we'll be making computers and phones. Does anyone know anything about technology?"

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?..."

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."