Modern Parenting Mazes Pillows

"Do we let her watch too much rock?"

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"He just said his first word!"

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

Businessman with briefcase pushes stroller with baby and its briefcase.

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

"They're a very hi-tech family. Apparently, even their baby was cordless."

'Sending someone to his room was a punishment when I was a kid.'

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?..."

"Wasn't it your turn to drop him to online school?!"

"Santa said to stop making toys. From here on out we'll be making computers and phones. Does anyone know anything about technology?"

'He's already surfing without nappies!'

Phone Mittens

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

"Have you ever heard about deferred prosecution agreements, Mommie?"

'I know Jesus spoke in parables. Now for the last time, tell me exactly where you put my car keys.'

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

Big book of memes

"I was hoping her first sentence would be, 'I love you, mommy.' Not, 'what's the Wi-Fi password?'"