Modern Mixologist T-Shirts

"This one's a blend of historical and contemporary botanicals."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

James Bond in a Snow Globe

Yoga for Alcoholics

Join me in a Martini?

We'll have Manhattans...

'OK, everybody...'Louie, Louie' from the top!'

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"An everything Martini, please."

Shaken not stirred

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

Margarita

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Espresso Martini Peacock

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

Baloneystini

You're the olive in my martini

The Martini is invented.

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"I gotta cut you off, Pierre. That's your tenth 'pretend Manhattan' since you got here."

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

"Hey! Hey! I could gopher another lemon drop over here, please and thank you."

'Fill her up. No ice - it takes up valuable space!'

Mini Bar

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

'The first cocktail.'

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

"A bloody Martian, please."