Mixologist T-Shirts

"Please, John, not the cheap Scotch. My body is a temple."

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

"Ain't no drab plumage at closing time."

Olive Martini Guillotine

From The Museum Of Modern Art's Collection Of American Mixology......The Mies Martini

'Since we switched from discovering new lifesaving antibiotics to discovering new daiquiri drinks, our funding has tripled.'

Shaking dice.

"There's no secret formula. I basically just pour scotch over ice."

The Devil's advocaat.

'What's your poison?'

Mediterranean Martini

"Old Martini Had A Farm"

'It's called a 'Catatonic.' It's tonic water and catnip.'

Troublemakers Bar - 'St,,,stirred, not shaken,'

Let the good times roll.

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

Margarita

Yoga for Alcoholics

'You mean we've all forgotten the formula for the secret liqueur?'

My friend here is being FAR too modest! He's not just ANY bartender! Karl's the guy who invented the Fuzzy Navel!'

Equality Bar

"Okay, we got one cherry lager, with bitters and a pineapple slice, and one honey malt ale with cinnamon and an orange weist. You want these in steins or parfait glasses?"

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

"You know how to make a painkiller?"

People ordering 4 types of Negroni in a restaurant.

"Let me try — I speak bartender."

"A witch's Brewski."

"It's beginning to appear as if I'll never have greatness thrust upon me."

"It's new. It's Perrier flavored vodka."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"How about a Shirley Temple on the house and then you skedaddle?"

"Something's happening. I saw someone drinking a Manhattan today."

"In addition to our house vodka, we carry these distinctive imports: Gilbey's, Gordon's, Wolfschmidt, and Fleichmann's."

Shaken, Not Stirring

"I'm still working on the salt rim."