Modern Mixologist Gifts

"This one's a blend of historical and contemporary botanicals."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

James Bond in a Snow Globe

Yoga for Alcoholics

'OK, everybody...'Louie, Louie' from the top!'

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

We'll have Manhattans...

Join me in a Martini?

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

Shaken not stirred

"An everything Martini, please."

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

Margarita

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

Espresso Martini Peacock

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

You're the olive in my martini

The Martini is invented.

Baloneystini

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

'Fill her up. No ice - it takes up valuable space!'

"I gotta cut you off, Pierre. That's your tenth 'pretend Manhattan' since you got here."

"Hey! Hey! I could gopher another lemon drop over here, please and thank you."

Mini Bar

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

'The first cocktail.'

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'