Modern Medicine Skeptic Pillows

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

"Thanks to modern medicine, we now have drugs to make any season the season to be jolly."

Current location

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

'Take two tokes of weed, Mrs Grunfield, and call me in the morning.'

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

"I'll let you in on a little secret -- every pill on these shelves is a placebo, and I have no formal training."

Myth Diagnosis

"And if Ooh, Eeh, Ooh Ah Ah doesn't work, we'll try Walla Walla Bing Bang."

'I don't think Charlie will ever get used to these auto-mobiles.'

'Mrs. Tomkins says her prescription has no side effects, so it can't be doing her any good.'

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

'House calls?...Dr. Latrobe doesn't even make phone calls!'

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'

"Take two aspirin and text me in the morning."

New Age Anatomy...

"Nurse, could you please click Ok?"

'Here's my DNA sequence.'

"I'm a doctor, I'm allowed to google it."

"Yes, everything—I need a list of all the medications you're on."

"Mr. Dinsdale - come back!"

"I think the dosage needs adjusting. I'm not nearly as happy as the people in the ads."

"Supersize me."

'He's a very good doctor, and I trust him, but I must confess that I always double check his diagnosis on Google.'

'This is probably the first person to have died from a homeopathy overdose... '

'Pop, is that where they make all of those new medicines with the bad side effects?'

"I'm skipping straight to a second opinion, in the first one, I thought you were OK."

Vlad, The Acupuncturist.

"Well, thanks for coming over with the soup and the subtle condemnations of my use of Western medicine."