Modern Marriage Maverick T-Shirts

"We have an arrangement."

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"You may now kiss the bride."

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"Arthur, I need my space."

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

'We're looking for a minister who recognizes that relationships have a built in obsolesces.'

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

"It's my attorney. Have you seen my list of things about you that drive me crazy?"

'All he wants is sex, sex, sex!'

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

'You're docile enough alright, but I don't like how you grind your teeth while you sleep!'

"I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology."

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.

'Do you cater weddings?' Why the groom is never put in charge of anything.

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

From marriage, straight to the counselor.

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."

'If I were you I'd poison the bastard!'

'Dear, your ego is stepping on my shoes again.'

"I think your tailor has seriously miscalculated your rise, Herbert."

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

"You should be happy. How many husbands even notice window treatments?"

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'