Modern Marriage Advocate Pillows

"But when we married, your name was changed to mine - that's not identity theft."

"How is it gendered?"

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

Tradition v. Reality: 'My client agrees to 'love', but needs clarification on 'honor', and 'obey' is a deal-breaker...'

"I remodelled, but I left it so that when danger threatens I can still take refuge in the redoubt."

'Well now, there's a coincidence. We're Adam and Yves too!'

Modern Baby Mobiles

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'

". . . Do you both like and subscribe. . ."

"I'd like you to meet my Husband 2.0!"

Hazard of texting

"Look, all I'm asking is that we let market forces bring a greater degree of efficiency into our marriage."

'But dad, no one goes round hunting and gathering anymore. It's just so . . . paleolithic!'

"Will you be keeping your own name or rebranding?"

'Go ask your other mother.'

"Gays and lesbians getting married – haven't they suffered enough?"

"Click here if you accept his terms and conditions."

I Support Same-Sex Marriage and I Support Some-Sex Marriage.

'So John, can I have the hand of your daughter in marriage for a few years?'

Be My P.C.V

Coming home to her house-husband.

"No, thanks."

'Now comes the hard part. . . who gets which facebook friends. . .'

Waiting for the digital newspaper.

'Our cell phone providers merged, so we decided to tie the knot too.'

"Traditionally, you cut the bottom layer at the wedding reception, the middle layer at your first child's Christening, and the top layer to celebrate your divorce settlement."

"Harlow and I have a no-sex marriage."

'... and they got a divorce and, due to a good prenup, they lived happily ever after.'

"I now pronounce you legally meaningless man and same sex partner."

"If you both agree to the terms and conditions, press, 'I accept'."

'I have several other fathers, you know.'