Marriage Modernist Pillows

"Look, all I'm asking is that we let market forces bring a greater degree of efficiency into our marriage."

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

"I'd like you to meet my Husband 2.0!"

"Traditionally, you cut the bottom layer at the wedding reception, the middle layer at your first child's Christening, and the top layer to celebrate your divorce settlement."

"You may now kiss the bride."

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

The Sleeping Congregation.

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

'We're looking for a minister who recognizes that relationships have a built in obsolesces.'

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

'My daughter eloped with a mime...'

A Man Visits A Doctor To Ask About Marriage.

You are cordially invited...

"Look—let's just get past today, O.K.?"

"You know what I bet it is? I bet we're breaking up but we just don't realize it yet."

". . . Do you both like and subscribe. . ."

"Like the old saying goes, when the cat's away, the mouse better not do anything that'll get him choked out when the cat gets back."

"If I get married, will that count as a capital gain?"

'One thing I need clarified: if we marry in church, is there any point in a pre-nuptial agreement?'

"She's high maintenance. I love her."

'Nobody really agrees about what marriage is these days, so I'll just say 'Yadda yadda yadda.''

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'

The End is Near...You Wish.

"Will you be keeping your own name or rebranding?"

"... And the only time he takes me out, is to bring me here!"