Modern Literature Buffs Gifts

"New Classic Books Revamped for Today's Youth"

"You're going to hate yourself."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Victor Hugo

Tut and Carmen.

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

The Demise of Tinkerbell

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

Pets are reading the book 'Animal Farm'.

Audio Books

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Robocop and Juliet.

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Dating an English Major

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

Scarpia from Tosca

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

'Hey, Charlie, have we got good news for you!'

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

Jack London

After the Sentence

'E-books?'

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

'Et tu Yakamoto?'