Modern Lifestyle Satirists Pillows

The Octoplex

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

Peter

"You are still here."

"Excuse me, Doc, my attention wandered. What type of deficit disorder did you say I had?"

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

"We're planning on sending him away to be reared by experts."

"You didn't seriously think that one does one's own huffing and puffing these days, did you?"

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"Amazing, eh? Good-looking, dependable, trustworthy, inflatable."

Snowman Driver

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"You can huff and puff all you want. The house is foreclosed and belongs to the bank."

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

"Well your results would be normal if you were a 108 and smoked a 60 a day!"

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

How much for the lamp post?

"He doesn't have to worry about his preschool placement - he interviews well."

"I hear Presbyterian is the new Methodist."

"O.K., but let's say you have up to six hundred intruders per minute."

'What's the antidote for espresso?'

"Jeremy sits in his hi-tech car all day and telecommutes from our driveway."

"You're wonderful, Kimberly, and I want to be married, but I'm looking for a complete unknown."

Rocket charmer.

"In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen episodes."

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

'This IS our retirement plan.'