Modern Lifestyle Satirists Pillows

The Octoplex

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

Peter

"You are still here."

"Excuse me, Doc, my attention wandered. What type of deficit disorder did you say I had?"

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

Snowman Driver

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"Amazing, eh? Good-looking, dependable, trustworthy, inflatable."

"You didn't seriously think that one does one's own huffing and puffing these days, did you?"

"We're planning on sending him away to be reared by experts."

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

"Well your results would be normal if you were a 108 and smoked a 60 a day!"

"You can huff and puff all you want. The house is foreclosed and belongs to the bank."

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

"I hear Presbyterian is the new Methodist."

'You'll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can't be with someone who's standards are that low!'

How much for the lamp post?

"He doesn't have to worry about his preschool placement - he interviews well."

"O.K., but let's say you have up to six hundred intruders per minute."

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

"You're wonderful, Kimberly, and I want to be married, but I'm looking for a complete unknown."

"Jeremy sits in his hi-tech car all day and telecommutes from our driveway."

Litigious Bo Peep

'I'm just updating my Facebook profile.'

'What's the antidote for espresso?'

Rocket charmer.

"In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen episodes."

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

'I often commit the sin of pride, Reverend. I imagine myself being googled.'