Modern Irony Explorer Pillows

A socially distanced queue

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

"Oh sure, it's easy to blame your husband, when he's not here to defend himself."

Perfection Troubleshootors.

A bill poster pasting up a wanted poster of himself.

"I thought this was the Vermeer tour."

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

"I hope there's nothing genetically modified in this."

Bureaucrat Walking his Pet

Published but unread poet.

"And, little by little, over the next ten minutes, he was able to dig his way to freedom."

If found please return to mountain

Looks like another hostile takeover...

"George was only interested in mega-bytes, so I got him this rottweiler..."