Modern Irony Explorer Gifts

A socially distanced queue

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

"I thought this was the Vermeer tour."

"Oh sure, it's easy to blame your husband, when he's not here to defend himself."

Perfection Troubleshootors.

A bill poster pasting up a wanted poster of himself.

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

"I hope there's nothing genetically modified in this."

Looks like another hostile takeover...

If found please return to mountain

"And, little by little, over the next ten minutes, he was able to dig his way to freedom."

Published but unread poet.

The Boss of the Kleptomania Clinic has turned up for work only to discover his Clinic has been stolen

Bureaucrat Walking his Pet