Modern Housekeeper Pillows

What we were promised...What we got.

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"I didn't spark joy."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

A DIY disaster.

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"I had to skip my workout."

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

'Our Filipino dog's a real treasure.'

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Washing Line Walker

'It comes with three settings. Single, Married, and Children.'

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

Cook and her Maids