Haunted Housekeeper Pillows

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I didn't spark joy."

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

Out To Lurch

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

"I had to skip my workout."

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"This is your new solar powered dryer?"

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Open House of Horrors

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

Bathroom Fairy

Cook and her Maids

'It comes with three settings. Single, Married, and Children.'

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

The household cavalry

TV and cleaner

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."