Modern Family Anatomy Explorer T-Shirts

"I married a girl with two mums and ended up with two mothers-in-law."

'Ahhh...'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

'I demand a DNA test.'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

"Having nannies really changes you."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

"I like to think that each generation will need a little less therapy than the generation before."

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: da Vinci's 'The Robot Body.'

'Today is my day to baby sit.'

"Listen, I'm still your mother."

'My dad is pushing me to become an alpha male, but frankly, I'd rather be a poet...'

"But in the dream, ha ha, your family was normal, even that sociopath little brother of yours."

"Miss Rogers, Sally Green. Is it true my son's research project is 'the effect of too much television on a typical ten-year-old?'"

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

'I sent my mother to jail. I work for the IRS.'

"All Vangundy is or ever shall be he owes to his mother."