Modern Diner Pillows

"Our ancestors clawed their way to the top of the food chain for THIS??!"

"Siri, am I ready to take a look at the dessert menu?"

"Menu?? You mean you haven't downloaded our App?"

"If you should need anything else, you can call me on my cell."

Mobile Phone Served Up In A Restaurant

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

Countervailing Clichés.

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'How is the water prepared?'

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

Dali Chooses a Lobster

"For drinks or dinner?"

Couple sharing the plastic widget from a pizza box like a chicken's wish bone

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

"Fresh pepper?"

'Excellent cork, go ahead and pour.'

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

"Should we try that new place in the corner?"

'You made me jump,'

"The woman who ordered the poulet chasseur would like to come in and rap about it."

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

'Your tea is getting cold.'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.