Modern Dieter Pillows

'We no longer serve trans-fats. Would you like some lettuce broth?'

"We ought to give this diet a name."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

"...there, I found it. Stellar! I love this nutrition app!"

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

'Tomorrow we'll just have lettuce and water, OK.'

How Wafer-Thin Mints Stay Thin.

"First, finish that genetically modified asparagus. Then you can have ice cream full of bovine growth hormone."

'This new diet drug comes as a pill, patch, or as a phone app with Siri saying, don't eat so much.'

"Here's the deal. If it tastes good, don't eat it."

"You're suffering from an overdose of food."

'You're going to go on a diet.'

'I think the four basic food groups are frozen, canned, junk, and take out.'

Computer: 'You-are-spending-too-much-time-interfacing-with-food'

'Fad diet. The weight will come right back.'

Snacking on yourself causes NO net weight gain!!!

'Your fitness program really should include more exercise than just pushing yourself away from the table...'

Maude finally gets rid of her giant ass.

"The clouds of heaven have a load limit of 65 KG! Everyone over the load limit sinks down to Hell! 65,3 KG! You should not have eaten that last cake!"

"Blech! Skim milk!"

Jogging incentives.

"Do we know what we're getting ourselves into with spelt?"

"I like to mix up my exercise routine, usually with sitting on the sofa drinking beer!"

'It looks like your computer may block cookies, but you don't.'

"No . . . erasing food-search-apps from your browser history doesn't count as dieting."

There's a thin person inside me trying to get out...probably more than one.

The Fast Diet

Fantasy Diet League