Modern-day Pirate Pillows

"Finding coins under your couch cushions doesn't count as finding buried treasure."

"According to the map the cryptocurrency treasure must be buried here!"

Weird things I do because of the internet

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

Music downloads

"Shiver-me-timbers, wench! How many times have I got to tell you? I'm not winking at you!"

"Shall I let them breathe."

"Who can we call?"

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - Captain Spatula

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

"I don't know what in blazes it means either, but just to be safe we'll put extra men on watch tonight."

'It's a treasure map.'

What if Pirates Were Born With Their Wooden Leg?

'I heard that the new captain was raised on a farm.'

"How many letters can you read?"

'Whenever I want to cut my lesson short, I ask the music teacher if she has any hip-hop music for the violin.'

"Can you sign this copy I downloaded off the internet?"

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

'You're allergic to feathers.'

Finance piracy

'Computer crime' 'To see your belongings visit our website www,burgular.com'

'Interesting business plan.'

'Because I don't want you to be part of the decision - making process, that's why!'

Hooks R Us.

'Wow...you must have had a really bad day, eh, mate?'

'Here be our new flag, me hearties! A truly Jolly Roger, from now on, we're all about bein' upbeat an' optimistical!!'

"Well yes, I've been away for a long time, but you knew I worked on a Pirate Ship when we got married..."

"I didn’t need to tie his hands—I just entered it into his GPS. In three feet, the destination is below you."

'Todd here syas our plank is to narrow and may lead to lawsuits.'

Punishment for Software Piracy.

Pirate trying to choose what to wear

"Well, he was a lousy captain, but he sure knows how to go out in style!"

"We don't bury treasure anymore - it's all in bitcoin."